Q: When naming a baby, can I give it any name I want
to? Last name included? Like say, Herbert
McAutumnbottom (say it with me!) Or what about giving
it a title? Like Milton Kuttingham, Japapeno King of
Texas?
A: I think you can name your kid whatever you want.
The thing is, you gotta name them something that will
not lead to them being unemployable, or them hating
you. I mean, if you want them to be miserable, just
get an abortion, you know?
Q: Did you peel the shell off of that egg before you
cubed it or is that a
cubed egg that's still in the shell?
A: Yes.
Q: My boyfriend is kinda an asshole. He makes me pay
for ~everything~. When I feel like just sitting around
and enjoying his company, he has better things to do,
but when he wants, it's like, in the middle of the
night when I have to
work the next day. He's like wicked jealous of my guy
friends (pretty much all
of my friends are guys) and gets all pissy when I even
talk about them. And
sometimes, he's just plain mean about shit, like
calling me fat or
something. Should I ditch this dude?
A: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghhh. IF YOU NEED TO ASK, YOU
NEED TO DUMP HIM. That is the advice I have for
everyone. If you need to ask if you need to dump him,
you should have dumped him already. If he is not nice
to you, he should have been dumped a long time ago.
He is not your family, you don't have to hang out with
him even though he acts like a complete fucker.
Besides, homeboy sounds like a real asshole. Go get
yourself a guy who is nice, and who has a bigger
weiner. (That is my second piece of advice for
everybody: always go for the bigger weiner.)
Q: Are you Natalie Dee because your middle name is
Delores? My middle name is Delores, hence Laura Dee. I
have never known of anyone with the same middle name
as me, so if your is that would be cool. It would be
kind of like a secret club
A: Actually, Dee is not my middle name, it is my
second initial. It is like when you were in
elementary school, and there were two other girls in
your class with the same name, and when you did dittos
you have to write your name at the top with your
second initial so the teacher would not get confused.
It is like that. There are tons of Natalies. I am
Natalie Dee to avoid confusion.
Q: I'm a college student in L.A. and I spend my
summers working in
Monterey. A friend of mine at work, who I'm always in
contact with, has been
going through an unbelievably hard period lately,
which has caused him to
feel abandoned and unloved. I'm a Christian and I have
a very real and
strong relationship with Jesus Christ and I believe
that He is the truth. I
know that God loves my friend and I want my friend to
be aware of this
love...but the last thing I want to do is make him
feel like I'm
"forcing my religion on him". Sharing my faith is not
something I'm embarrassed
about, but in this particular case, the person I'd be
talking to is
decidedly of the opinion that all Christians (with the
inexplicable
exception of me) are easily excitable brainwashed
Republicans with 2.5
kids, a healthy case of homo-phobia and a really
obnoxious bumper
sticker on the back of their SUV. I want to get YOUR
perspective on how to
communicate to my friend a love that I have
experienced and KNOW is
real, without pushing him away. I truly believe that
there is a God who
adores him, therefore he is never alone. All I want to
do is encourage him
with this possibility. Any ideas?
A: Hmmmm. Nobody likes being put on the spot like
that. I mean, it is fine that you are religious.
People are free to be as religious as they want. By
the same token, they are free to be as not-religious
as they want. YOU are a Christian, and YOU have a
relationship with Jesus Christ. I am assuming that
you have never talked religion with this guy before,
otherwise you would not be dancing around it now.
What if he is Jewish? Or Buddist? Or Atheist? Or
Pagan? I think that the best way to make him feel
better about whatever he is going through is just to
be his friend. Being a work friendship, I don't
really think it is appropriate to talk God without
being 100% sure that is what he wants to talk about.
Q: So...Natalie...How does it feel to be awesome??
A: It feels GREAT!
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