2003-07-03 - 9:18 p.m.
hello.
welcome to CONTEST 2003.
this is not a contest for those who are not bold. it involves balls, fearlessness, and a bit of stupidity.
the prize is your choice of any painting off a list of paintings. this is not a list of the little paintings. this is not a list of the shittier paintings. this is a list of all the paintings i have in my possesion when the winner wins. there also may be other surprise things, if you win with flair and/or disregard to yourself and others.
how do i win, you ask? there are three ways...
1. GET A NATALIE DEE TATTOO. this must be at least 3 inches square (the size of a post it note). send me a picture. a picture of you getting it done, or a picture of it looking all scabby. if you send me a picture and it does not fall into one of those categories, i will assume you drew it on. we're playing for keeps here, kids.
2. SPRAY PAINT "I LOVE NATALIE DEE" ON A HIGHWAY OVERPASS OR A WATERTOWER. the key here is large. big as you can make it without it taking so long the cops catch you. again, send a picture.
3. GET ME THE T-SHIRT WITH THIS PRINT ON IT.
this is a dinosaur jr t-shirt that came out in 1992 or 1993. it is the most wicked t-shirt that has ever existed. i got it, wore it every day for 8 years, then it fell apart and i could never find one like it again. if you could find this t-shirt, you would be the winner and get the bonus prizes guaranteed.
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!
it's actually not so much a contest as a reward for being an asshole. if you do anything from the above list, you will receive a painting. the only reason i call it a contest is because the fastest ones will have the most paintings to choose from. that and i will eventually run out of paintings.
for t-shirts or photos, mail it to: natalie dee c/o sharing machine, PO Box 82470, columbus ohio, 43202
you can also take a picture, scan it in, and e-mail it to me.
you will only win a painting if you do something from the above list. if you do something else, no matter how awesome, tough luck.
by reading all this, you are already in the contest. are you gonna be a sucker and pretend you didn't read it? i know you read it. NOW, GO BE A MAN.... or WO-MAN!! make me proud. get a painting.