2003-08-03 - 12:11 a.m.
i went to college for awhile.
i went to college for awhile, then i stopped going to college, cause i pretty much despised it with every fiber of my being. there wasn't a single thing i liked about it. nothing.
but in the last couple years since i last went to school, it has become more and more clear that not having a college degree is not an option really. i mean, i suppose i could work lame-ass jobs forever, but that would not be too awesome.
so, last week i signed up to go back to school. i work full time and am not really used to going, so i am starting out by just taking a math class. ease myself into it, y'know? also, i decided to just take a math class because i really hate math, and by just taking math i will not be tempted to study for other classes instead. if i was taking, say, an art class or an english class, i would spend all my time doing work in that class in order to avoid the math.
i haven't taken a math class in something like 6 or 7 years, and the last time i took one, i passed it by like three points. seriously, it came down to one equation that i lucked out on.
so i went down to the college office, and took my placement tests, and tested into some real low level math class, but i forgot which one.
so i went home and started looking through the course catalog, and picked some really low level class and went to register for it by phone. i entered the course number, and this automated voice thing basically said:
YOU ARE TOO DUMB TO TAKE THIS. TRY AGAIN.
i frantically searched for a lower level class. i entered the number.
YOU ARE TOO DUMB TO TAKE THIS CLASS. BITCH.
again, i went nuts looking for a lower level class. there was only one lower than the last one i entered. i punched it in.
YOU ARE REGISTERED. BLOBBITY BLAH.
out of curiosity, i checked the course description. sure enough, it was retard math. math 0-5-slow. introduction to numbers 1 through 10. counting basics. There is a three dollar lab fee, and i am pretty convinced that it is to cover milk and cookies when we have circle time.
NATALIE, HOW MANY COOKIES DO I HAVE IN MY HAND?
UHH, I THINK IT LOOKS LIKE TWO, BUT YOU MIGHT HAVE ONE BEHIND ONE OF THEM.
YOU'RE RIGHT, I HAVE TWO. I WILL GIVE THEM TO YOU, AND YOU SHOW ME HOW YOU CAN SHARE WITH CORKY.
then i got the infection catalog, and i accidentally ordered yeast.